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Just a light-hearted attempt at humour.
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Every submission will be considered and edited before posting to the web-site. Risqué will be fine - filthy not!
The late and great Scottish comedian, Chic Murray, rang up his local bowling club asking, "Is that the local bowling club?" The person who answered the phone replied, "It depends where you're calling from!"
Chic was at the Munich Olympic Games. Strolling through the Olympic village, he spotted an athletic-looking fellow carrying a long tubular equipment-container on his shoulder. Chic greets the fellow. “You must be a pole-vaulter!” He remarked. The fellow replies, “No! I am Austrian - but how did you know that my name is Walter?”
A well-known and respected skip was on the mat at the Memorial Park green, preparing to deliver his first wood when his third, up at the head, slumps to the ground, having suffered a heart attack. The rest of the rink calls out for the skip to stop. The skip grounds his wood on the mat and takes a few steps towards the head, pausing to take stock of the situation ... “It’s OK!” He comments, “I can draw around him”.
Hearing this gave the third the will to recover and, subsequently, to survive his heart attack.
A very talented lady bowler, who won most of competitions that she entered, was often seen to be referring to a little black notebook before delivering her woods. The good woman unfortunately fell ill and sadly died. Her husband decided to auction off all her bowling gear - woods, clothing, shoes etc. - and the little black notebook – donating the proceeds to charity. Possession for the little black notebook was fiercely contested, but the eventual winner was a woman who was often beaten into second place by her late rival. She went home to study, in private, the little black notebook that, obviously, contained such pearls of wisdom that helped her rival to triumph so often. She settled down into her favourite armchair with a glass of red wine and the little black notebook. She took a sip of wine and opened the book … blank-page followed blank-page until finally … written in the largest possible letters, on a page towards the end of the book, was this piece of advice:
THE BULLET GOES ON THE INSIDE
Penny Brickle submitted the following puns. Some may make you wince - don't blame me!